Date: Feb 10, 2008 6:00 AM
Subject: 2/9/2008
2/9/2008
Rio De Janeiro
We had been here before, just a year ago. For quite some time, there have been two representatives aboard from H Stern. They said they would arrange a private car for us in Rio. The car would take us wherever we wanted to go. There would be just a $10.00 per hour charge.
Last year we got to take the cable car up to see the Jesus Christ monument but at about 10:30 AM clouds, heavy fog, and rain chased us off the mountain and when we drove by the beaches,
there was almost no one there. It was raining pretty hard the rest of the day.
This year it started out very foggy, but by about 10:30 AM the sun came out and it cleared up quite a bit. So we decided to take up Stern on their deal. We had already seen everything else, so we just wanted to see the beaches. Now there was a new twist. Somewhere we would have to stop and see their factory.
We walked through Rio’s customs building and on into Stern’s in the connecting building next door. Upon informing them who we were, we were quickly met by a young girl. She spoke very good English and was to be our guide. We walked a long distance to a waiting car. It was old and decrepit. A Fiat wagon. There was no suspension left and the driver was the pits. He thought he was Mairo Andritti but did not have the slightest clue on how to shift or drive. He just darted in and out constantly slamming on the brakes and going as fast as he could whenever there was a break in traffic. 
Shortly after we got in there was no air conditioning.
We went by Flamengo, Copacabana and Ipanema beaches. The sun was out brightly and there were thousands of people but we didn’t get to see much on the way there. We were on the wrong side of the street and the center island was loaded with parked cars and trucks. Our nut case driver was sure he was in some kind of an obstacle course race. Darting in and out, cutting off other vehicles and banging on the brakes as often as possible. Then he
would put it in the wrong gear and pop what was left of the clutch. Bobbi couldn’t even get a picture. The young girl who was our guide was very nice and said things to el jerko driver, but it didn’t help nor did the fact we had to open windows. It was hot.
Next we were taken to the H Stern factory for a tour. Very interesting but stupid. Then we were ushered onto the high price floor. We had a Japanese sales person who was soon sorry to have met me. We were turned over to a lady who had been there for 52
years. She brought several trays of funny colored glass looking stuff made into rings. I picked up a big pink one and asked how much. Oh, that is the most expensive one, was the answer. It’s a Guzuntite, or some such thing. She finally spit out that they wanted $44,000 for that piece of what looked like a marble from a kids game. She was not happy when I said I got a whole bag of bigger ones including some cats eyes for abut $2.00. I mentioned that those were really round too. This one for $44,000 was some kind of funny shape you could never even use in a game. She 
quickly packed up her marbles and pointed me to where the exit was.
We walked through a couple more floors of lower and lower priced stuff until we came to the bottom floor where they were selling the real junk you would find in tourist stands. We bought none of that stuff too.
We found our guide. She had ordered another car and driver to
keep me from causing a mutiny. It took about 20 minutes but we got a nice new Toyota and a young fellow that drove reasonably well.
Our girl asked where we wanted to go now but it had been over an hour and a half since our last meal and we just wanted to go back to the ship. You never want to take a chance on starving.
We did go back along the beaches. There were thousands of people and we could see everything well now. Remember that song about the Girl from Ipanema that went walking? Well she must have just continued walking on and on. She was no where in sight and there were no replacements. I think we saw only one in a tiny bathing suit and she should have had a cover up like most of the others. There are far prettier and far more girls in Tiny Winy Bikinis on South Beach in Miami, not to mention Haul Over, the nude beach. This place is mostly just a bunch of hype. Or at least that’s what we saw, or I should say, didn’t see.
Surprise, surprise. When we got back no one said a thing about paying for the car, driver, and guide. When we got back on the ship, one of the men from Stern’s, that we knew from last year, was there. Bobbi, being Bobbi, had to go and ask if we owed them something for the car. I kept walking and pretending I didn’t know her, but he said no and thank you for coming. They must make one heck of a bunch of money on these cruise ships to afford the dozens of free tours they give away. What a fun day.
Tonight at about 6:30 we got on buses for a Virtuoso party. We drove a long way through bad neighborhoods and through a couple of tunnels into a better area. We turned off, up a winding road going up a mountain to an old mansion. It had been turned into a very nice party facility.
We were served endless drinks and appetizers and then finally dinner. I thought dinner sucked. It took forever. They were very slow but nice even though no one spoke English.
All through the evening, up until dinner time, there was an excellent singer and band doing 70s and 80s songs in English. As soon as dinner was done the real entertainment started. First came the partially dressed dancing girls. Just the vital parts were partially covered. All were good and had big tushes. There were two sets of dancers in huge parade dress and acrobats. There was a samba band with weird instruments. They got most of the people to get up and dance and it was another new years eve party. Bobbi had numerous drinks and was boogying with a black acrobat. All very good and very well done. We didn’t get back to the ship until midnight.
Rio De Janeiro
We had been here before, just a year ago. For quite some time, there have been two representatives aboard from H Stern. They said they would arrange a private car for us in Rio. The car would take us wherever we wanted to go. There would be just a $10.00 per hour charge.Last year we got to take the cable car up to see the Jesus Christ monument but at about 10:30 AM clouds, heavy fog, and rain chased us off the mountain and when we drove by the beaches,
there was almost no one there. It was raining pretty hard the rest of the day.This year it started out very foggy, but by about 10:30 AM the sun came out and it cleared up quite a bit. So we decided to take up Stern on their deal. We had already seen everything else, so we just wanted to see the beaches. Now there was a new twist. Somewhere we would have to stop and see their factory.
We walked through Rio’s customs building and on into Stern’s in the connecting building next door. Upon informing them who we were, we were quickly met by a young girl. She spoke very good English and was to be our guide. We walked a long distance to a waiting car. It was old and decrepit. A Fiat wagon. There was no suspension left and the driver was the pits. He thought he was Mairo Andritti but did not have the slightest clue on how to shift or drive. He just darted in and out constantly slamming on the brakes and going as fast as he could whenever there was a break in traffic. Shortly after we got in there was no air conditioning.We went by Flamengo, Copacabana and Ipanema beaches. The sun was out brightly and there were thousands of people but we didn’t get to see much on the way there. We were on the wrong side of the street and the center island was loaded with parked cars and trucks. Our nut case driver was sure he was in some kind of an obstacle course race. Darting in and out, cutting off other vehicles and banging on the brakes as often as possible. Then he
would put it in the wrong gear and pop what was left of the clutch. Bobbi couldn’t even get a picture. The young girl who was our guide was very nice and said things to el jerko driver, but it didn’t help nor did the fact we had to open windows. It was hot.Next we were taken to the H Stern factory for a tour. Very interesting but stupid. Then we were ushered onto the high price floor. We had a Japanese sales person who was soon sorry to have met me. We were turned over to a lady who had been there for 52
years. She brought several trays of funny colored glass looking stuff made into rings. I picked up a big pink one and asked how much. Oh, that is the most expensive one, was the answer. It’s a Guzuntite, or some such thing. She finally spit out that they wanted $44,000 for that piece of what looked like a marble from a kids game. She was not happy when I said I got a whole bag of bigger ones including some cats eyes for abut $2.00. I mentioned that those were really round too. This one for $44,000 was some kind of funny shape you could never even use in a game. She quickly packed up her marbles and pointed me to where the exit was.We walked through a couple more floors of lower and lower priced stuff until we came to the bottom floor where they were selling the real junk you would find in tourist stands. We bought none of that stuff too.
We found our guide. She had ordered another car and driver to
keep me from causing a mutiny. It took about 20 minutes but we got a nice new Toyota and a young fellow that drove reasonably well.Our girl asked where we wanted to go now but it had been over an hour and a half since our last meal and we just wanted to go back to the ship. You never want to take a chance on starving.
We did go back along the beaches. There were thousands of people and we could see everything well now. Remember that song about the Girl from Ipanema that went walking? Well she must have just continued walking on and on. She was no where in sight and there were no replacements. I think we saw only one in a tiny bathing suit and she should have had a cover up like most of the others. There are far prettier and far more girls in Tiny Winy Bikinis on South Beach in Miami, not to mention Haul Over, the nude beach. This place is mostly just a bunch of hype. Or at least that’s what we saw, or I should say, didn’t see.
Surprise, surprise. When we got back no one said a thing about paying for the car, driver, and guide. When we got back on the ship, one of the men from Stern’s, that we knew from last year, was there. Bobbi, being Bobbi, had to go and ask if we owed them something for the car. I kept walking and pretending I didn’t know her, but he said no and thank you for coming. They must make one heck of a bunch of money on these cruise ships to afford the dozens of free tours they give away. What a fun day.
Tonight at about 6:30 we got on buses for a Virtuoso party. We drove a long way through bad neighborhoods and through a couple of tunnels into a better area. We turned off, up a winding road going up a mountain to an old mansion. It had been turned into a very nice party facility.
We were served endless drinks and appetizers and then finally dinner. I thought dinner sucked. It took forever. They were very slow but nice even though no one spoke English.
All through the evening, up until dinner time, there was an excellent singer and band doing 70s and 80s songs in English. As soon as dinner was done the real entertainment started. First came the partially dressed dancing girls. Just the vital parts were partially covered. All were good and had big tushes. There were two sets of dancers in huge parade dress and acrobats. There was a samba band with weird instruments. They got most of the people to get up and dance and it was another new years eve party. Bobbi had numerous drinks and was boogying with a black acrobat. All very good and very well done. We didn’t get back to the ship until midnight.
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